what did you dream about last night?

Rapid eye movement, or REM

occurs during dreaming. Dreams are like the first time you ever had sex (with or without another person) – you thought it was great/scary/exciting/whatever else while it was happening, but now when you think about it, it’s really embarrassing and for the person listening, it really is the most boring thing. Unless you can make the listener have tears roll down their cheeks through either laughter or crying , don’t tell them.
Every morning I listen to what someone else was dreaming about last night while I drink my first cup of tea of the day. I have perfected the art of pretending to listen whilst thinking about all the things that I have to do in the day.
I never get to tell my dreams, but this is not a big deal. No one ever asks you what you dreamt about last night unless they are a Freudian analyst or secretly wish that they were, and they are pretty thin on the ground these days. thank goodness.(The best contribution FREUD ever made was in having children, his grandson LUCIEN is a great painter, but that is beside the point.)
I would not ask you about your dreams and I’m not going to tell you mine. I’m not going to tell you about the first time I had sex either.

An acquaintance of mine, however, is all into dreaming at the moment. He’s into LUCID DREAMING whereby you CONTROL your dreams, a bit like those crappy novels that were popular in the seventies and eighties, where you get to decide whether the hero is saved or not or does he eat the tin of dog food. I think this is a BAD IDEA. Eating tins of dog food is a bad idea as well, but deliberately setting out to CONTROL your dreams is pure meddling. Your brain makes dreams happen to sort out the crap so that you don’t have to. Who knows what future trouble you are storing up for yourself if you mess with the apparent randomness of your dreams. OK I believe lucid dreaming CAN happen SOMETIMES, because well, it has happened to me. Very occasionally, as a child I’d have a nightmare and think ‘oh, right, time to wake up/slay the dragon/kick the school bully in the teeth.’

LUCID DREAMING FREAKS start the ball rolling by keeping a dream diary by their bed, and write theirdreamsdownveryquicklyonwaking b e f o r e t h e y f a d e a w a y. or more likely, before they realise what stupid arses they all are, recording their dreams on paper. If having someone TELL a dream is boring imagine how utterly mind blowingly excruciating it is having to READ through one.

People tell me that keeping a dream diary is a good thing to do when you are starting out as a writer. NOPE, NOT TRUE. The slavish recording of dreams in order to hone your skill/craft as a writer is about as useful as a bucket full of smelly old fish. The maggots might well be horrifying, the smell might be atrocious but it won’t make you a better writer by hanging on to it.
Exceptions will always happen. Oh, -I know so don’t tell me their name – that someone somewhere wrote some prize winning tome based on a dream…

The ONLY TIME I listen with real interest to a dream is when my child tells me their dream. That is my only indulgence.

However, if you would like to deposit your dream here, I will nuke it for you without reading it. You get to write it down and get it off your chest and I dispose of it. POUF. Like that…



  1. Hey Miss Cellany, I had a weird dream last night and I’ve blogged the details in my own blog..especially for your entertainment. Lol.

    I tend to have very vivid dreams and I nearly always remember them. I have even been known to have a dream, wake up and then go back to bed and continue the same dream where I left off.

    I once read that people can dream in colour or in black and white but apparently, no one can dream both. Not sure how accurate that is but I seem to always dream in colour.

    As you said, dreams are simply our sub-concious thoughts working themselves out. Dream interpretations are just plain silly as no amount of analysing can rationalise individual sub-consciences. It’s all in the mind. Lol.

    Cool blog by the way.

  2. I just posted a comment to this article and it doesn’t seem to have recorded it.

    Why is nothing straightforward?

  3. my fault about the comments, i have to sort my preferences out!

  4. Ah yes, I should have realised.

    It’s a good idea to be cautious.

  5. Here we go, my dream…….
    [note from miss cellany = *dream deleted*, I tried not to read it!]

    I think, actually…I just need a holiday.

  6. Hehehe…you nuked my dream! Best thing for it too.

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