Posted by: miss cellany | March 14, 2006

cold calling

‘HI there!!!! I’m from British Gas, and I’m just calling today to check whether you are still with us’

The cold wind rushes in past my knees and I’m already resentful. I give this man on my doorstep, who has distracted me from my work without apologising a quick beady stare. At least the Jehova’s Witnesses always used to apologise for disturbing me. In fact, I’d rather have a J W on my doorstep than this lying idiot. Does he REALLY think that I’ll believe that British Gas has to send a man to knock on my door and ASK IN PERSON whether I am still getting my gas from them?
This is where being a woman is useful. I can choose my method. I don’t have to rely on the old, WE ARE NOT SWITCHING PROVIDERS, that my partner blasts out at them before shutting the door in their faces. I look at this guy, right in the eye and I say, ‘well, I don’t pay the bills, I don’t know who we get our gas from.’
But he’s not going away. I smile. I can see he’s getting uncomfortable.
‘Sooooo, Miss Cellany was the previous occupant then.’
‘Nope. That’s me.’ I am still smiling.
‘When is your, erm, partner likely to be at home?’
‘Ohhh, it depends. It varies.’ Smiling really throws this guy. I nod at him. He glances at his clip board to detatch his gaze from mine. Ha! He’s not even going to try. I don’t say anything else. He backs away as though I’m part alien.

I know his game. He knows I know his game. BUT he can’t be sure whether I am lying or not.

In truth, I feel a tad bit sorry for him. It’s foul weather and his job is crap. I can imagine the kind of meetings he has had to sit through with flip charts and some cretin telling them all how to get us (unsuspecting dimwits) to agree to something we don’t need and don’t want.
But I feel more annoyed than sorry, because my house is full of icy air and I’ll have to put the heating on.
Why do these herberts always assume that just because I’m at home and not wearing any make up and my jeans are worn, that I’m not working? Why do they always assume I’ll fall for their lies?



  1. Door to door and telephone sales reps…apparently there are specific pyschological times when it is more advantageous to call people. For instance…if you want to ask a favour of an aquaintance or you want to get someone to volunteer to take on a task for your organisation or whatever…the best time to call them is around the 10pm mark. They are at their most vulnerable or weak point at this time and are most likely to agree. And tea-time is a popular time for tele-sales canvassers; mums are usually busy so more likely to buy goods in order to get rid of caller.

    I’m not a sales rep btw…nowhere near pushy enough. Just read a lot of useless trivia. Lol.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: