Posted by: miss cellany | March 13, 2006

waiting

Dentist’s and doctors waiting rooms are the only places it is possible to read trashy women’s magazines without feeling guilty. You know that in picking something up like Hello! no one is going to make any kind of assumption about you or your reading habits. Unfortunately my dentist’s waiting room is well stocked with National Geographic circa 1986 – 93. Dilemma. While I’m waiting to get my face covered in a fine mist of my own spit and water, do I educate myself with 20 year old quality or do I delve into the messiness of some celebrity’s latest marriage fiasco caught on camera by the paparazzi albeit about 18 months out of date…Dentist’s waiting rooms are pretty unreal places. They don’t have clocks. Time stands still to the whine of the dentist’s drill and the sotto chatter of the receptionist on the phone to someone who is not a patient. And even though the weeping fig tree in the corner is not fake, it never grows. Spooky.

My doctor’s waiting room is another matter altogether. They’ve just moved into a new building and the old system of a plastic number being give to each patient has been replaced. Instead of burying yourself in mindless magazine pap you now must watch the screen on the wall in case your name comes up. Now, I think this system is bad. Not only am I deprived of my magazine reading, my name is up there for everyone to see. I’m waiting for the day when not only is my name up there but also the exact nature of my visit, MISS CELLANY TO NURSE THINGUMMY WHATSIT CONSULTING ROOM 5 FOR SMEAR TEST PLEASE.
Bring back the numbers and the confusion over who’s got number 8. Much more civilised.

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Responses

  1. This is true. Once, when I was waiting for the doctor at student health I was faced with a similar dilemma. On the table there was some womens magazines – which I must confess I just felt like reading at that moment, and also the Tales of Peter Rabbit. I, of course, picked Peter Rabbit because I didn’t want to be seen with the magazine, but also I wanted to read it again. It was a good book but very short. I don’t think having novels would not be very good at a doctors practice.

    Have you ever tried making conversation like “So, what are you here for?”

  2. Lol…very amusing write-up Miss C.

    Makes me think of my own dentist who is actually really very funny. My kids love him and they tease each other mercilessly about girlfriends/boyfriends etc. He asks my little boy if he’s been playing kiss-catch with the girls at shcool and he asks my little girl how many boyfriends she has. They love it.

    The good thing about it all is that before we know it, our oral check-up’s are complete and we’re on our way out the door…tearless and pain-free.

    I hear what you’re saying re. the mindless magazine thing. So true.

  3. worse, perhaps, than the magazine selection at the dentist’s office is the realization that you have been *selected* to pose, whilst undergoing endodontic treatment, for a dental journal published in japan.

    such was my fate when i opted to get my teeth filled at the dental school of a local university. Since it’s a dental school, patients are occasionally asked to “model” their teethies for instructional purposes.

    Perfect for the dental exhibitionist, but it was with utmost mortification that, when asked to “smile,” I managed an ironic openmouthed grimace.

    (thanx, by the way, for reading my blog! i enjoy yours as well.)

  4. The thing is, Dentists never have any men’s magazine’s in their waiting room. I mean they’ve got unlimited copies of Cosmo and Now!, but they don’t have any copies of GQ or Arena. Don’t guys go to the dentist. I know I do, and I don’t want to be left with shitloads of old Hello! magazine’s to read.

  5. I can only think of one way to sum up this
    post….Awesome.
    What’s interesting to me is the more I read the more
    I find this blog (post) so helpful, but thats only
    my opinion. Each to there own thing I say…..


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